Minneapolis!

The song - Tourette's
The word - Puke breath....shoes
The place - Butt country

Our last real stop in AMERICA! HOME OF MR EAGLE

We got off the bus from Chicago to greeted by the lovely Crystal. You know what was on her license plate?
A fucking EAGLE. YEAH. Jesse shit a brick.

First stop? Sculpture garden to see a giant cherry on an even bigger teaspoon. It was here that the three of us came up with America's new economic action plan. Similar to the make work project of the 20's of building America's intensive freeway system, we decided that everyday the giant spoon should act as a catapult for the cherry, launching it towards city hall, destroying it everyday, then re-building. Imagine the jobs! At least 40 people would need to co-ordinate their efforts to all jump at the same time to launch the cherry far enough. Then the clean up crews, rebuilding labour, medical staff and eventual protestors. Hundreds of jobs right there. Get to it America.

Soon after this (and a much needed shower) we found ourselves in a pontoon in the Missisipi River being fed a booze they called, "River Water". Wait what? Jesse and I thought about how ridiculous it was that THIS was how our invasion of America was ending. Drinking free booze on a boat in the middle of the ol' Missisip. I was trying to convince everyone that I would wrestle and eventually tame an alligator for the purposes of extended travel down the river. They told me there were no alligators. You know what I have to say to that? Suck it Trebek.

So two River Waters and three alligators later, we ended up in a hotel room, Jesse making out with at least eighty guys again. We had the most booze I've ever seen there. Especially for three people. A 60 of gin, courtesy of Jesse and I, Crystal brought like... 6 bottles of booze. I can't even remember what she stocked the fridge with. What a babe.

No we didn't finish it all, Crystal was not impressed and told us we drank like we were from Montana, not Canada. Keep in mind this is the girl that helped us wizard staff the fucking roof in San Francisco.

We left at 8 this morning bound for... don't judge... MANITOBA, THE PUKE PROVINCE

Please excuse me while I vomit all over my shoes.

-Cam