Fuck Texas

Seriously. Texas? Balls.

Alright, so we just covered 4 states in 2 days. Here's a bit of a condensed entry.
To start off, they wouldn't issue us tickets for New Orleans coming out of Vegas.
We showed our passes and they just said, "Oh we don't issue tickets for discovery passes here
you can just get on the bus".

Kinda sketchy... We realized that this meant we were NOT guaranteed to get to New Orleans,
especially since our first stop in Flagstaff, was at 2 in the morning.

Arizona

Flagstaff - It was late, it was dark. It looked boring. The guy there STILL wouldn't give
us tickets to New Orleans. He just gave us a baggage ticket which he made us write out by
hand. The west and the south are two VERY different places.


New Mexico

Gallup - I thought it was called Giddy Up for a while. It would have been a fine description anyways.
Burger King for breakfast? Fuck that. More like salt king. King of the buttholes.

Albuqurque - All the buildings are the same colour! This off kind of poopy brown colour.
We're glad we didn't end up staying a day here. You know what there is to do in Albuquerque?
NOTHING

However, we FINALLY got our tickets to New Orleans here, after explaining what had happened before. The guy behind the counter (bless your heart Ryan, Jesse misses you) thought that was the strangest thing he had ever heard and issued our tickets

Tucumcari - You think I have any idea how to pronounce that? Fuck no. We had Subway here.
Yes Bobby, diarrhea town. It was hotter than the devils anus after eating Chipotle, with no
Chipotle-Away.

Texas

Fuck Texas


Louisiana

Shreveport - It was 6AM, we just transferred here. Although, Louisiana is SO much nicer to
look at than Texas. You know what we saw in Texas? NOTHING

Alexandria - I think we ate breakfast here. That might have been in Shreveport though. I
ordered grits, because I had no idea what grits were. You know what they are? Baby vomit.
According to credible sources, grits are amazing with butter and brown sugar or cheese.

Lafayette - I can't even remember what happened here. This is city number...eight or something.
I think I bought some soda here. Yeah you wanted a good entry? Go read Post Secret.

Baton Rouge - Second to last stop. The scenery along the last few cities has been pretty
gorgeous. The basin's and bayous are full of trees that just come out of the middle of the
water. Amazing. Take that Texas, you giant ass.

Interesting things about Louisiana, there's french fuckin EVERYWHERE. I'm not surprised,
but after being in Cali, Arizona and Texas where there's Spanish on everything, it was a
weird thing to see. Made me feel like I was in Canada.

Our bus driver? Yeah he's an alligator. Steering wheel? A SNAKE. ALLIGATOR DRIVING A SNAKE

My mind is blown.

As I was telling Crystal, I plan on eating alligator meat while I'm down here. Not BBQ'd
no no. I'm far too raw as fuck for that. I'm going to eat it LIVE. Literally OFF of an
alligator while I'm wrestling it. Take that nature!

And to Hilary, I WILL be expecting my pie covered in frosting, as soon as we find a good
place to take this monocle picture. Nicole, get jealous.

We are literally on the road to New Orleans as we speak. Finally at the end of our 40 hour
long bus trip. Thanks Vegas, for keeping us an extra day with your enticement of cheap booze,
smokes, food, women, booze and women.